I Left My Heart in Pritchard Because I Couldn’t Get Out the Smell

(“The Pritchard Song”)

By SJW

(Fiction—not to be taken seriously.)

 

I remember it all last August, when I moved in that rainy day

I came there from the big town, trying to chase my blues away

But as I walked through those musty halls I came to realize

That I should have brought some Lysol and left my nose behind

 

I walked those halls for a day and night, trying to find my room

And when I finally found it, it felt like none too soon

'Cause I'd seen ghettoes like this--knew my suburb well

But even in my suburban ghetto we didn't have this smell

 

refrain:

I left my heart in Pritchard, because I couldn't get out the smell

And I couldn't stand to tear it from that home that I call Hell

Take me on back to my fifth floor room, right by the fire bell

Whoa, I left my heart in Pritchard, because I couldn't get out the smell

 

Then soon we got to a-drinking, my new roommate and I

And we told some dirty jokes, and laughed until I might've died

But he tanked first, and lost his lunch, and all that Miller too

So I mopped the floor and threw him out, it was all that I could do

 

Then soon came in that RA, just as easy as you please

With his incident forms and phone numbers and universal keys

And he said to me, "listen here son, we've got to get this straight

Get along with that there roommate, or you'll never procreate"

 

(refrain)

 

So when the RA left, we took to a-fighting over that room

And the florescent lights seemed to dim for the coming doom

We threw our chairs, and our luggage, and everything in sight

'Cause we knew only one of us could stay in there that night

 

Then finally 'round midnight the RA called in campus cops

'Cause we had took to a-throwing some dislodged cinder blocks

They took our names and told us stern, "next time--jail cells"

But at least in County Courthouse they don't have this damn smell!

 

(refrain x2)

 

Writer’s Note: I am looking for someone to give The Pritchard Song some actual sound—e.g., record it as music and encode it as an mp3.  I will post it on this web page and give you credit.  If you are interested then contact me.